Sincere People Scare Me

Have you noticed that sincere people are very charismatic? Because of their genuine concern for whatever it is that drives them they have a spark. There is something about them that makes them seem wise and solid. They seem to have a direction and purpose in life that others don't have. We are attracted to them and so many people attach themselves to them and worship them, whether we know it or not. Their sincerity is passion and passion is strength. We are attracted to their strength.

In the ultra-pampered society of most industrialized nations many people have become complacent. We depend on those sincere people to be our teachers, conscience, motivators, mentors, leaders and protectors. Those people we are so attracted to generally do a good job.

There is great danger in seeding so much of yourself over to someone else. They are just people. They are just as apt to screw up as anyone else but when they do it, it seems to do more damage. If you are really introspective you may find enough honesty to realize that you allow others, particularly those passionate, powerful, sincere people in your lives to lead you. Maybe you even allow them to rule you in some way, after all they are so passionate or sincere, there is no way they would ever hurt someone. How could they be wrong, they are deeper into it (whatever "it" is) than you will ever be and they are naturally better at it. Therein lies the danger.

I am a Christian so I have nothing against Christians. But the Christians of this modern world, so blended with the idolatry of pop culture, the god of television and the pseudo-knowledge of science, have grown soft. In fact there is very little discernible difference between Christians and non-Christians. We flaunt our feebleness and celebrate our ineffectuality and lack of self control. We gladly give total control and the right to think freely over to our leaders. Our pastors cannot possibly be wrong! They are called of God! How dare you disagree with them? They are the shepherds you are the sheep! Remember, "Sheep who follow sheep get crap on their feet!" I used to buy into all of this. . . until the pain became too deep.

I was fortunate enough to see just how human my pastor was. No, there was nothing sexual! Just a lapse of judgment. A revealing of the total humanity of the man. He was not a bad person, just totally and completely human. Not nearly the man-god as I was taught to think of him. I loved him dearly, like a father, even after this fault revealing time, but I learned that growing up was a responsibility I could no longer deny.

It was a good thing really. Like when you are a kid and you realize dad doesn't know everything after all. Nor is he the strongest person in the world. In fact you may be smarter and stronger than he is one day. There is a kind of pain in that, and a kind of fear. At some point you realize you are responsible for yourself and your parents really don't shape you as much as psychologists lead you to believe. Yet the draw is strong, even as an adult to let somebody take over thinking for you. That is where these sincere people come in. We become convinced of their superiority and we conveniently give them informal power over us. We find ourselves becoming very religious about them and their words. Giving them the stature only a true deity should possess.

When they crash and burn they take so many people with them. They break so many hearts. Ruin so many lives. . . The weakest among us find another sincere person to latch onto like an infant to the pap, creating a cycle of childhood to childhood to childhood existence, never growing. It is true that sincere people scare me but not because they are sincere. The worship lavished upon them carries a curse. They become damaged and begin to believe they are more worthy than others. They grow to expect our unquestioning fealty. They begin to be dazzled by their own glamor and believe that they are, in fact, more, higher, better. . . infallible. But as scary as this is, it's the people that use them that scare me even more. The mindless zombie followers that encourage their worship and refuse to let others escape to saner grounds. What's worse still is the notion that I may be doing it myself. I may even over achieve and in the diversity of weakness ruin lives myself while still at someone else's pap. God forbid!